I wonder if I'm always going to feel this way. I want to see a psychiatrist so badly. They can pop me some pills that will fix me... but my dad knows I only want to go to a psychiatrist for pills. He says I can go to counseling or psychologist... no psychiatrist. He's afraid of the side effects. Happiness really is the most important thing anyone can have. This is the first year of my life when I have actually realized that. It doesn't matter what you look like or how much money you have. I just want to be happy. I want pills because I really think there is something chemically wrong with me. I want to be fixed. I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life.