Chicago Essay Questions

2011 essay questions:

Essay Option 1.

“What does Play-Doh™ have to do with Plato?” – The 2011 University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List
Every May, the University of Chicago hosts the world’s largest scavenger hunt. As part of this year’s hunt, students raced to find the shortest path between two seemingly unrelated things by traveling through Wikipedia articles.
Wikipedia is so passé. Without the help of everyone’s favorite collaborative internet encyclopedia, show us your own unique path from Play-Doh™ to Plato.
Inspired by Ayla Amon, AB’10, Daniel Citron, AB’09, and Benjamin Umans, AB’10

Essay Option 2.

Observation, Hypothesis, Experiment, Analysis, Conclusion; since the 17th century, the scientific method has been the generally accepted way to investigate, explore, and acquire new knowledge. The actual process of intellectual discovery, however, is rarely so simple or objective. The human mind often leaps from observation to conclusion with ease, rushes headlong into hypothesis-less experiments, or dwells on the analysis, refusing to conclude.
Tell us about your non-scientific method. (Diagrams, graphs, and/or visual aids allowed within your essay.)
Inspired by Megen Cowett, AB’11

Essay Option 3.

Spanish poet Antonio Machado wrote, “Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it.” Give us your guess.
Inspired by Jill Hampshire, AB’08

Essay Option 4.

While working at the Raytheon Company, Percy Spencer noticed that standing in front of a magnetron (used to generate microwave radio signals) caused a chocolate bar in his pocket to melt. He then placed a bowl of corn in front of the device, and soon it was popping all over the room. A couple years later, Raytheon was selling the first commercial microwave oven.
Write about a time you found something you weren’t looking for.
Inspired by Ashwin Acharya, an entering student from Hunter College High School, NY

Essay Option 5.

In the spirit of adventurous inquiry, pose a question of your own. If your prompt is original and thoughtful, then you should have little trouble writing a great essay. Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, citizen of the world, or future citizen of the University of Chicago; take a little risk, and have fun.

Essay Option 6.

Don’t write about reverse psychology.
 They came out today. I don't think I can handle this. I think I know which one I am going to write about already, but I need to make sure it's not an obvious answer that a lot of people would write about. I'm dying.

China Tomorrow

        Starting tomorrow, I won't have access to Twitter, Facebook, or Blogspot. I think I still might have access to Blogger though, so maybe I can still update periodically. If not, then I guess you won't be hearing from me until after July 26.
        I'm scared to room with the three other random girls. I am going to get judged so hard for being so high maintenance, and for my skin. It's going to be really bad but I think after I take a shower or whatever I'm going to put a little makeup back on and wear it to sleep so as to not to make anyone want to jump out the window. It'll be the non-harmful-to-your-skin kind of makeup, but still it's just like blah don't want to have to do that for three weeks. Also I've packed so much makeup and eyeshadow and makeup brushes... I'm also probably the only non virgin going in our group of thirty or so. It's not that fact that bothers me, but the fact that I expect most there to be pretty close-minded. I'll just have to suck it up, I'm pretty good at pretending to be a normal, functioning, sociable human being anway. Okay, hopefully I will still be able to post once I'm in China, bye and stuff.


How to Pack For China

  • Bring all of your booty-shorts. If you have fewer than five pairs of booty-shorts, go buy some or make your own.
  • Those skanky little tank tops you have around but never seem to get worn? Bring them.
  • Don’t forget your gym shoes and sports bra and other fitness-y gear.
  • Make sure you have tons of money, not because things are going to be expensive, rather quite the opposite. As the saying goes, it’s best to “make your money in America and spend it in China.”
  • You want to look super fashion-y as there are always tons of people everywhere, so bring your trendiest outfits.
  • Pack all of your best face powder. As the humidity rises, your face is going to melt. Reapply often so that you can maintain a nice cake face. God forbid anyone see any hint of your real skin.
  • Waterproof mascara. Need I say more?
  • You’re not going to have access to a gym and it’s not like you’re going to go for a run out in the crowded streets laced with old men in wifebeaters fanning themselves. You’re going to pig out on deliciously fattening Chinese food anyway. Accept the fact that the 10 pounds you spent the beginning of the summer losing is coming right back. Unpack fitness gear.
  • Recall that trends hit China from Europe a whole season or two before they hit America. Reject all of your trendy clothes that don’t seem very trendy anymore.
  • Bring all of your insect repellent.
  • Have an ugly complicated purse with buckles and flaps and thick straps so as to ward off any would-be pick pocketers. Backpacks are not allowed.
  • Pack some examples of hairstyles and colors that you like. You're going to get a new hairdo in China, right?
  • Once you’ve finished, make sure that your large suitcase is left at least half-empty. This space will be needed for the loads of crap you’re going to buy, such as fake iPods, shoes that are going to break the fourth time you wear them, ugly jewelery, pajamas that say random things like “many sleep can little fried flower talk,” and fake bread.

China on Friday

        I'm going to China on Friday. It feels like there's so much on my mind but really it's all so simple. I'm unexpectedly nervous about teaching in China. I finished my lessons and stuff, but in my powerpoint I've included some Chinese. What if I can't read it while I'm presenting? It's mostly in English, but I don't really know what the Chinese stuff says, I just google translated and got my dad to help me. I'm in the process of memorizing it, but what if I forget? I also need to find a way to make this presentation interactive. Another volunteer teacher is having the students read stuff, but that just seems dopey and I don't feel like anyone will really care. Why do they care about American political landmarks anyway? That's what my presentation is about, what a dumb topic, right? Also since I used pictures as my background I think some of the text is hard to read and I've tried changing the font multiple ways but it's still just kind of difficult I don't really know what to do. Really the thing that I am the most nervous about is the Chinese. What if someone doesn't quite understand something in English, asks me a question, but I can't explain it properly in Chinese? They are going to judge me so hard for my shitty Chinese.
        One thing I do have going for me are my presentation skills. I've watched some of the other volunteers present and it's quite obvious that they are bored by their own presentations and the only reason they are doing this is that their parents are forcing them to. At one of the first meetings we had everyone introduce themselves and give a reason for participating in the program. Some actually had the nerve to outright say that they didn't really want to go and their parents were forcing them to. One girl in particular recieved some harsh criticism on her presentation skills, but rightfully so. When told that she looked bored by her own presentation she merely said, "yes, I am bored. I hate this." What can someone say to that? Does she think that being this way is conducive to anything for anyone? There was not even a hint of, "ok, I suck but I'll work on it!" Then again, these kinds of people are likely the ones who need this program the most. I trust that eventually she will grow up, and she merely said those things in an attempt to be defensive. Seeing as I was voted as one of the leaders of the group, I feel as if I have a responsibility to whip these kids into shape. Still, back to that notion that I can't change someone's thinking, she has to discover it within herself. Some subtle pushing can't hurt though.


How To Be Used

"I’m going to level with you. It feels pretty great at first. Why? Because you wouldn’t set yourself up to be used if you didn’t get something out of it in the first place. Maybe you’re needy. Maybe you’re insecure. Maybe you have some idyllic best-case scenario in mind regarding the user and you’re simply willing to take whatever you can get. Regardless, it starts off feeling good; you’ve got their attention—perhaps even their momentary affection—and everything is right with the world.

At some point that moment, day, month (depending on the situation) you begin to get the inclination that you represent something to this person other than what you’d hope to embody in a healthy, reciprocal, respectful relationship. But you’re still getting something out of it (validation!) so you take it, and you do your best to successfully ignore the part of your brain that’s like, “Ummm… duuuuuude…..”

Something breaks the proverbial camel’s back. Maybe you realize they’ve stopped buying you dinner and just usher you straight to their bedroom, up the back steps so their roommate doesn’t make small talk. Maybe they go off the grid for evenings at a time and then tell you they simply “crashed early.” Maybe they ask you for something so inappropriate you’re embarrassed to write about it publicly (ahem). Haaaaa but who am I kidding! If you were mentally attuned to these facts you never would’ve gotten here in the first place, would you? No, instead you’ll be telling these things to your best friends, saying things like, “But seriously, guys, I still think it’s worth salvaging,” while they kick each other under the table and visibly eye roll and go home to start a Gmail thread with the subject line, “WTF ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

You start to feel ill most of the hours you are awake. You live and die by communication from the person who is using you, yet you lose sight of what ‘positive interaction’ really looks, sounds, and feels like and instead settle for simply any ‘them-generated’ communication whatsoever. At some point you beg to be used. Please, come over! I will give you whiskey and Ativan and Pizza Hut! Have sex with me and leave in the middle of the night! It’s fine, my sexual needs don’t exist at all! Please, take a shit on my emotions! I will answer your whiny texts at any hour of the night! I love hearing you complain about your ex-girlfriend! It sustains me!

Concretely discern that you’re better off ignoring this person forever. Delete them from your phone (sure, you can try saving them as, “DON’T!” or “YOU’LL REGRET IT!” but your desperate drunken brain will find a way to justify it). Decide to ice them out forever. Stop making your bed because you expect them to come over (though they always promised to and never actually did, did they). Cut them off financially (foreshadowing: miraculously, they still find a way to make ends meet).

Cry. Cry a little or a lot depending on your personality. Cry in front of your friends but realize that they are so tired of your situation by now that they just wish you’d stop and let them finish watching The Bachelorette. Cry by yourself when you’re watching any television show or movie featuring happy couples, or listening to any song with a chorus that includes the word “we” regardless of context.

Take them back. Obviously. Let me reiterate that you wouldn’t get used if you had a handle on how fucked up your situation was. It’s not your fault; you don’t know better. And you won’t know better the next time you’re used either, or probably the time after that. Because you’re not an idiot. You’re not standing on a street corner with your savings account in a cardboard box wearing a t-shirt that says, “Will Fuck For a Modicum of Attention!” No, you just haven’t figured out how ‘it works’ yet.

But rest assured, someday you’ll realize you’re being used, and though it will still happen to you (goddamn your enabling personality, right?) at some point you might—might—learn to stand up for yourself.
Sarah Heuer wants to punch you in the face."

I don't really have much to add to this, except that you still loved being used, yes every bit of it. You don't blame that user, that precious user. He only fed you what you wanted after all. He even got what he wanted in the process, and who can blame someone for using what he has?

Hey, remember when...

  • you left popped veins on my butt
  • you left teeth marks on my boob
  • you tried to fuck my nonexistent tits hahahaha
  • you called my labia "foreskin"
  • I told you I was sending you a hot pic of myself but really it was a picture of your own dick hahahaha
  • you showed ZJ and ZV pictures of my butt -.-
  • you told me I looked as hot as Adriana Lima when my hair was curled
  • we had sex in your car in the middle of a tornado warning and thunderstorm, that was really nice
  • after we had sex in the thunderstorm you kept getting freaking out because you just saw this scary vampire movie and I totally looked like one of the vampires
  • I went along with it and pretended like I was going to suck all your blood out
  • I told you I didn't believe that we live on in any way after we die you started crying and kept saying that "there has to be something"
  • my feet were in the air and you stopped doing what you were doing just to kiss them
  • you had blood in your poop for a few weeks hahahaha
  • we were macking on my couch and my dad came home and you were totally not supposed to be here and you looked like you just pissed yourself and started trying to run away even though you were pretty much caught
  • we were going to name our child Isaac after Isaac Newton, the inventor of calculus
  • we were going to call him Ike for short, like that one kid's little brother on South Park
  • we used a glow-in-the-dark condom, that was cool
  • it wasn't cool when it broke
  • you ate me out during our nature walk on a beautiful sunny day that was amazing
  • we had so much sex that your balls got achy and so we had to do it sideways
  • you wanted to be a neurosurgeon but you couldn't stand the sight of blood or the thought of work
  • you had me convinced for a few weeks that you were an illegal alien from Poland and you and your family washed dishes on cruise ships for three months before getting to come here
  • we had the best time ever telling each other sweet nothings
  • we had the best time ever just looking at each other
  • we had the best time ever.

just a little strange

        I don't want to waste my time on any more stupid boys and just skip to the right one. Yet, this will not only be inevitable, but also it is imperative that I waste this time. It would only prepare me to properly  handle the right relationship and not just trash it like I do every time. Oops, this small rant was totally unrelated to what I had intended to blog about, especially since I have probably already blogged this exact same thing. Anyway....
         Yesterday I was at another Asian dinner party. Actually I shouldn't say "another" seeing as I haven't been to one in several months. They are mostly pretty boring since ZJ doesn't show up anymore. My other good guy friend was there, and, I'm not too sure but I think he is somewhat attracted to me. Gosh that was such a pain writing that last sentence there. I'm likely just very conceited and I fantasize about geeky boys being in love with me all the time. Regardless, he is really really good at massages like you have no idea, it's just amazing. He was giving me one of his amazing massages and I could just tell that he was aching to cop a feel or something. We are pretty close, and at one point he slapped my bum lightly. HAHA that looks so weird, everything I just wrote but really it's not that big of a deal, we are just childhood friends. It's all just a little strange, but nothing I'm really worried about.

P.S. I don't know how this is showing up for anyone else, but it looks like my font is going inconsistent and it's really bothering me and I'm trying to fix it but it doesn't work. It's probably because I'm on a different computer, and I will be for a while. My tumblr format looks screwed up too on this computer. Whatever.



        Eep! Now that was a frighteningly long stretch of time to go without a single blog post. I do, however, have a legitimate excuse. I was stuck in the Canadian Rockies, mostly in Banff National Park. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was pretty and all, but I think I had enough after about one day. Nine days was a bit excessive, seeing as all there is are mountains and water and a few animals. We hiked around 4 gigantic lakes and each one pretty much was the same. This has reinforced my notion that I absolutely cannot go to a college that is not close to an urban center. I had enough of nature to last me a lifetime. I really do feel like an ungrateful spoiled priss, especially knowing that this was likely to be my last family vacation and my parents spent a lot of money and effort on it. It really didn't help that I'm going to China in about a week to teach American culture to Chinese students or whatever and I still need to finish my lesson plans and I really need to work on my college essays. This vacation felt kind of like a waste of time, and each day I fall into more despair with the whole crazy mother situation. I'll post more about that later. I'm just kind of pooped even though I haven't been doing much of anything at all. I'm not excited for anything. 
 P.S. - a likely painting prospect


i lost this friend.

Ever calm, ever cool,  
The evening breeze
Changed course.
Approach or question didn't dare.
I don't dare.

i lost a friend.

        I guess this really isn't anything new. It's not new in the sense that he's been lost for quite a while, and it's not new in the sense that people lose friends all the time. I am still in the process of accepting my latest loss. Near the end of my relationship with D, I asked ZJ if he would still be my friend if we broke up. His response: "Yes. You know, if I didn't want to be friends with you I could have done that a long time ago." At a point when I needed to hear them most, these were some of the most comforting words of my life.
        There is no good reason that we are not friends anymore, other than that I screwed up and pushed him away. While I did that, I guess I never really believed that I would need him again, or maybe I never really believed that he would actually leave me for good. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. What's lost is lost. He won't speak to me. In person if I approach him he will acknowledge me, but he has told people that I seem to give him this big fake smile whenever I see him. I try to chat him up on skype, but he just ignores me. I don't know what's happening anymore. I cannot even speak to him about this. EG's existence doesn't help at all either. Our schism is simply stuck, and I suppose I did it to myself. I have no choice in the matter now.
        Losing a friend is kind of like a breakup, but I really do think it is worse. Maybe you weren't so deeply and emotionally intertwined with a friend, but it is still a heartbreak all the same. It's worse because friends are not supposed to leave you. Boyfriends come and go. They are supposed to, especially at my age. I knew in the back of my mind all along that D would leave me and that he would cut me ever so deeply. That's just how the vast majority of relationships end up. On the contrary, friendship is supposed to last past all of these hot romantic relationships. Friendship goes deeper. There is no need to say sweet nothings to your friends because they know them already and you aren't really afraid to lose them. A great friendship should be stable and comforting.
        ZJ was more than just a friend to me. He was the brother I never had. I really looked up to him. His grades weren't that great and he wasn't that good looking, but he knew what was important in life. He knew the right things to say and everyone loved him. He always got his point across, and his messages were concise and insightful. While my mind frantically tried to find comfort in a state of perpetual confusion, he was a voice of reason. Later his role came to be fulfilled even better by LE, but that didn't make me value ZJ less. As of last year, and even the beginning of this school year, ZJ was the only person from high school who I just knew I would keep in contact with. We were supposed to invite each other to dinner parties and have our kids over for play dates and have every Christmas and Thanksgiving together and laugh about all the silly things we did when we were teenagers. I couldn't, and I still can't, say that about anyone else. I looked up to him, my big brother who I was afraid of sometimes, who I would be annoying to much of the time. Now he won't look at me at all.


Anatomy of a Kiss

"He asked if he could kiss me when he heard I'd never had the experience.  I asked him why.  He'd also heard I had no interest in it.  He leaned closer to me, trapping my eyes with his, and said he'd be honored to be my first. 
Someone has to be my first, a voice whispered in my head.   Why not him?  It wasn't like he was just anybody, after all.   It was him, and he had always been special.  He was being special right now in the way he was in my space, in the way he had me transfixed, in the way my breath had changed to something more swift and shallow.  He was being special in the way he was closing the distance between us, and I was ready to voice my objections -- how dare he presume my answer to be yes? -- when something in my mind decided to inform me smugly that I had already nodded my head in affirmation. 
When had that happened?  It hardly mattered.  It had, so nothing to do but go with it.  I'd never done this before, but logic told me that if he had his lips parted slightly, then maybe I ought to part mine as well.  His eyes flicked over the features of my face, and I found myself echoing the action, tracing the smooth line of his jaw, noting each faint freckle across the bridge of his nose, falling into his deep, soft eyes.
What was a kiss, really?  I'd never been interested in pressing my lips to another's.  The idea didn't discomfit me, so I had allowed this, but I had worried if my head would be disengaged from the action.  Not in that I feared my heart would take over, but in that my head would impatiently observe the proceedings, thinking, 'Whoopee.  Are we finished yet?  I've got other things to do.'
I was wrong.  I was so very wrong.  At that moment, there was nothing else I would rather have been doing.  A kiss was more than just brushing lips with another.  I hadn't accounted for the way he filled my personal space, bringing a feeling of intimacy from the utter rarity that I would let anyone so close, and not just to my mouth.  We weren't touching, but I could feel him as an almost tangible presence from my shoulders all the way down to my shins.   I hadn't expected that I would feel his warm breath sliding gently across my skin, that in breathing we would be sharing our air.   Logically, his fingers were probably cooler than the skin of my cheek, but it seemed they sent a tingle of heat through me and down my spine.
My lips became suddenly sensitized.  They didn't respond in any remarkable way when I ate, drank, brushed my teeth, but now, now they felt the kiss before it even came.  Actual contact was just that much more.  They were just lips, but I became acutely aware of the person behind them.  We no longer shared breath, but everything we had between us, powerful enough that it left no room for air.   Our parted mouths lingered in quiet, innocent communion before his puckered closed, bringing mine with his to the accompaniment of a soft, moist sound that struck some deep, instinctive chord within me.   Cool, empty air once again intruded between us.  My lips parted again immediately thereafter as if to rewind, the abandonment creating a sudden vacuum I was pulled forth to fill, but alas, my first kiss had technically come to an end.
It didn't feel like it.  As bereft as I felt with the loss of his lips against mine, I still felt him.  His fingers slid slowly off my cheek, and though that decreased the sensation, it took its sweet time in fading away completely.  It was like a string stretching between us, growing thinner as the distance grew until it finally lost its cohesive tension despite all its efforts.
My timesense told me only a few seconds had passed.  How was that possible?  There was a lot more to this whole kissing thing than I'd thought if it had even the power of time dilation.   I'd already been proven wrong in finding that it was more than just a brushing of lips; it was a full body affair.
He smiled as he pulled away.  I found one of my hands had risen to touch his hip during the experience.  Excellent.   There was less ground for it to cover now as I commanded it to slide up and snag his shirt.  Halted in his departure, his expression was just sliding into a question when I informed him breathlessly that I would be so very honored if he were to be my second, as well.
And I continued to be honored as he graced me with my next, my last, and every one in between."


last day of school

        Yep, that was today. It was nice, I just made ice cream in my calculus class for the final, and then I had an open so my friends and I went to Jewel and gorged ourselves with chicken. I couldn't have asked for a better last day of school. 
        With the end of one comes the start of another. Some people are considering me to be a senior now, and it's really pretty scary. I have always had a sort of Peter Pan complex, but here it's much more conflicted. After all that I have learned and created of myself in the past school year, I feel as if I want to be treated as an adult and put my new knowledge out there. Yet, I don't know if I am ready to act like an adult. I don't know if I am ready to face all these adult issues. I am afraid of the adult I will become. Some adults lead sad, annoying, and tedious lives.What will be will be, and right now I just have to focus on being the best me I can be.
        The hardest part of all this is going to be letting go of everything that has shaped me and everything that I know. I feel like I need to do all these crazy things before it's too late, then another part of me feels like I need to just live my life normally so that I can feel normal, whatever that is. Every parent dreams of greatness for his or her child. Every child dreams of doing something huge and changing the world. When we are young, there is so much hope for the future, there are so many paths and so many possibilities. When we grow older, some of us will certainly be more successful than others. Some of us will look back on our lives with satisfaction, others with distaste and remorse. We can't know which ones we will become, because no matter what we dream, all of us dream. We're not going to get all of our dreams. I suppose I am afraid of dreaming the wrong dream and choosing a wrong path. Once that path is taken, we can't turn time around and choose another. I'm seeing the importance of dabbling in everything and taking the time to really find out what we want to do for the rest of our lives. After all, we need to spend our lives having a good time, or else why would we live at all?



        I just finished watching Freaky Friday, which, no matter what anyone says, is a wonderful movie. It's a classic and all the acting is great and the plot is perfect and it shows a lot about understanding and love and family and it's funny and has great characters and honestly I am a fan of the musical performances as well as the references. This is Lindsay Lohan in her prime. I used to be a huge Lindsay Lohan fan, you know? LLRocks for lyfe. Well, anyway . . . 
       The ending of that movie is so perfect, but it made me feel kind of heart sick. I really want to feel the excitement of dating someone wonderful and perfect, and then falling into a comfortably stable love. As I say this, I can't help but feel scared as well. How many times will my heart have to palpitate with insatiable excitement only to be broken? What if a real stable marriageable type of love never occurs for me? It happens to people, some people just die alone without ever having such a love. I want to date someone wonderful, but I am so sure that I still have a lot of growing to do. I also feel like it would be futile to start a relationship senior year, that's just asking for heartbreak. I don't want to get my hopes up for anyone. 
        Another thing that makes it particularly sucky is that nothing will ever be like the first love. That naive trust and feeling of total security will never be there again. There's nothing that can measure up to that. The same goes for the first sex. No real worries, just utter trust and bliss and immersion. If it's awkward or fumbly or strange, it doesn't matter because the excitement and the everything overtakes it. First love is novel and amazing and strange.
        If only we could just know when the right relationship had come along. We wouldn't let ourselves go too deep with the other ones. Then, why would we even bother wasting our time on the others then? They are just as important, and all of that experience helps to get us ready for the right relationship. I'm going to avoid saying the right person, because nobody is ever exactly right for another. You work the relationship out and become perfect for each other. By making all of those earlier mistakes, we get closer to becoming someone else's soul mate.
        I want to say that while I am afraid, I am ready for someone new to come in my life. I want to share with someone all that I am. I want to learn more, if that's all that I can get out of the relationship. I want to experience more, even while I risk my heart. While those seemingly needless heartbreaks suck, they are just as important as the love that will never end in heartbreak. 
Such is the beauty of the mind-blowing game called love.


Get Drunk.

congrats, grad.

        Unrelated to the topic of this post, but this morning I took the SAT Math 2 subject test. If I don't 800 this one I don't think I will be able to excuse myself. I got a 780 on the chemistry, which is pretty bad. I can't decide whether or not I should take it again but I really don't want to. I don't think I will, just because I'm kind of thinking that today's test was the very last standardized test of high school for me. Well, with the exception of my six AP exams next year, but I'm not sure if those count.
        Yesterday, I watched the seniors graduate. It was a wonderful ceremony and since I was with the choir I got great courtside seats and got to hug every one of my favorites as he or she made the way to the stage. Best of all was when D walked past and I yelled, "HI D!" and he just shrugged me off and barely acknowledged me. Everyone else was very warm and enthusiastic though. It's hard not to take his apathy towards me personally, especially when I see him so warm towards other girls. I'm not looking for anything other than an acknowledgment of our friendship and connection. I'm sure people around me were thinking I was a weird person saying hi to someone I clearly didn't know or something. It really bummed me out more than it should have.
         I went to this kind of awkward grad party of this girl I don't really know. I only went because her brother invited me, but that was awkward too because I haven't seen her brother since we went to prom my sophomore year . . . I left early hoping to be able to make it to LE's party, but didn't, but whatever. The most unfortunate part was that I didn't get to snag any free beer at the first party or anything.
        DC spent the whole party with me, and she is cool. She brought up the fact that even though we are pretty close and have fun together, we probably are not going to hang out. She's right. It's like when people say "yeah gurl, let's totally hang out this summer!" but you both know you never will. It's just hard to admit, especially with someone as cool as her. I really do want to hang out with her, but she is so right. She's not a planner, and I'm indecisive as hell. People around me graduating is really making me realize how close to so many endings I am. If I don't hang out with these people or get to know these people, I never will. If I don't have classes with these people my senior year, I never will. Before it was always a possibility of, "no classes together this year? next year then!" No more. No more excuses and chances. I'm still too suckishly indecisive to do anything about it though.
       I'm just feeling sort of lame and lonely. I called D just to chat because for some reason I still do that when I am bored, but he was at a party so couldn't really talk. I don't really have anyone that I can just call and chat with for no particular reason, other than JD maybe, but I feel like a nuisance. I know she probably doesn't find me a nuisance, but still. As for D, I feel like he almost deserves me being a nuisance for him, so that's why I still call him if I'm bored out of my wits. It's kind of strange how lonely and silly one can feel for really no good reason at all.
Too much finality, too little focus.

UPDATE: (after graduations pictures went on facebook)
BD: So read your card a few days ago... thank you, it was very nice :) ... whydidntigetapicturewithyouatgraduation???
oh so NOW you are sorry for blatantly ignoring me at graduation!!! sadlfkjasdlfk



So I'm on this new diet. I stumbled upon a blog post detailing how a person who had tried everything to cure her acne found a perfect cure just by cutting out dairy products in her life. I haven't heard of this before, and even though my inner skeptic is about to shoot me in the head, I feel like it might be worth a try. It couldn't hurt, could it? Even though I love milk, and I drink it instead of water, and I love yogurt, and I love cheese, and I love cereal with milk, and I love ice cream, and I love cheesecake.......

Anyway, here is the No Milk Acne Diet:
1. Total restriction phase - no dairy for AT LEAST SIX MONTHS. (not happening.)
2. maintenance phase - teen years to early twenties, zero intake is best (no improvement.)
3. cautious reintroduction phase - early twenties, some patients may NEVER be able to enjoy dairy again (NOOOOOOO.)
This website cites something called an "acne threshold," which is some kind of threshold for hormones that every individual has that will determine whether or not he or she will get acne. Cutting out dairy is supposed to help get you below the threshold, since it has tons of hormones, and hormones directly plug up our pores. Okay. Skepticism is off the charts. 

This source is obviously not reputable, since the entire website is dedicated to promoting this link between acne and dairy, and it is also wrought with conspiracy theories. Disregard.

Another article made a little more sense, but I still found it a little too alarmist and extreme.

I settled on this article, since it had an actual quantitative study to back it up. Also, some doctor is quoted saying, ""about 80% of the cows that are giving milk are pregnant and are throwing off hormones continuously." Makes sense, I suppose. 

How could dietary intake have no impact on what happens to your skin? I read somewhere that because doctors do not learn about nutrition in medical school, they disregard diet as a cause for acne. I don't know if this is true, but I can't imagine it having no impact. There is obviously no way I am going to eliminate dairy from my diet, it's too amazing. I'll just reduce it significantly, it can't hurt, and most of those foods are things that aren't the best for me anyway.

(Also, DO NOT EVEN START WITH ME about organic milk. It has just as many hormones, and no measurable benefit, but it is sold at a premium because it is marketed as "better for you." Organic sucks. This goes for every organic food. Actually, I have nothing against organic food, just the way it is marketed. I'd rather spend my hard-earned consumer dollars on something a little bit more legitimate.)