Hey, remember when...

  • you left popped veins on my butt
  • you left teeth marks on my boob
  • you tried to fuck my nonexistent tits hahahaha
  • you called my labia "foreskin"
  • I told you I was sending you a hot pic of myself but really it was a picture of your own dick hahahaha
  • you showed ZJ and ZV pictures of my butt -.-
  • you told me I looked as hot as Adriana Lima when my hair was curled
  • we had sex in your car in the middle of a tornado warning and thunderstorm, that was really nice
  • after we had sex in the thunderstorm you kept getting freaking out because you just saw this scary vampire movie and I totally looked like one of the vampires
  • I went along with it and pretended like I was going to suck all your blood out
  • I told you I didn't believe that we live on in any way after we die you started crying and kept saying that "there has to be something"
  • my feet were in the air and you stopped doing what you were doing just to kiss them
  • you had blood in your poop for a few weeks hahahaha
  • we were macking on my couch and my dad came home and you were totally not supposed to be here and you looked like you just pissed yourself and started trying to run away even though you were pretty much caught
  • we were going to name our child Isaac after Isaac Newton, the inventor of calculus
  • we were going to call him Ike for short, like that one kid's little brother on South Park
  • we used a glow-in-the-dark condom, that was cool
  • it wasn't cool when it broke
  • you ate me out during our nature walk on a beautiful sunny day that was amazing
  • we had so much sex that your balls got achy and so we had to do it sideways
  • you wanted to be a neurosurgeon but you couldn't stand the sight of blood or the thought of work
  • you had me convinced for a few weeks that you were an illegal alien from Poland and you and your family washed dishes on cruise ships for three months before getting to come here
  • we had the best time ever telling each other sweet nothings
  • we had the best time ever just looking at each other
  • we had the best time ever.

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