Yep, that was today. It was nice, I just made ice cream in my calculus class for the final, and then I had an open so my friends and I went to Jewel and gorged ourselves with chicken. I couldn't have asked for a better last day of school.
With the end of one comes the start of another. Some people are considering me to be a senior now, and it's really pretty scary. I have always had a sort of Peter Pan complex, but here it's much more conflicted. After all that I have learned and created of myself in the past school year, I feel as if I want to be treated as an adult and put my new knowledge out there. Yet, I don't know if I am ready to act like an adult. I don't know if I am ready to face all these adult issues. I am afraid of the adult I will become. Some adults lead sad, annoying, and tedious lives.What will be will be, and right now I just have to focus on being the best me I can be.
The hardest part of all this is going to be letting go of everything that has shaped me and everything that I know. I feel like I need to do all these crazy things before it's too late, then another part of me feels like I need to just live my life normally so that I can feel normal, whatever that is. Every parent dreams of greatness for his or her child. Every child dreams of doing something huge and changing the world. When we are young, there is so much hope for the future, there are so many paths and so many possibilities. When we grow older, some of us will certainly be more successful than others. Some of us will look back on our lives with satisfaction, others with distaste and remorse. We can't know which ones we will become, because no matter what we dream, all of us dream. We're not going to get all of our dreams. I suppose I am afraid of dreaming the wrong dream and choosing a wrong path. Once that path is taken, we can't turn time around and choose another. I'm seeing the importance of dabbling in everything and taking the time to really find out what we want to do for the rest of our lives. After all, we need to spend our lives having a good time, or else why would we live at all?