Love or Self.

        America is the land of the self-made man, of those who stay true to themselves no matter what. They take care to never give up hope, to never relinquish their beliefs. The history of our nation has certainly contributed to that. Were we not the ones who shook off the British when they became too stifling? Did we not guarantee ourselves rights that no other nation had ever heard of? In America, individualism and standing up for oneself are virtues.

        Americans take that into every aspect of their lives, and shove it into other countries. Besides that though, I think there is a problem once that individualism is applied to relationships.

Boyfriend doesn't like your attitude? He's stifling, emotionally abusive!

Girlfriend wants you to get a haircut? She's fickle, trying to control your life!

        We jump too quickly to the conclusion that if your partner doesn't like everything about you, and he or she has some flaws that bother you as well, then you're just not right for each other. If you can't accept everything about each other right away, then it's just not meant to be, so just let it go. 

        On the other hand, isn't the point of a relationship to compromise together, to find that sweet medium? Each part of a couple should be able to take away something positive from the relationship. They should grow together. There is a certain degree of self-sacrifice that needs to be made. Of course, do take my advice with a grain of salt. If your partner cannot stand your entire existence, background, mindset, then I'm not sure this can be helped. Only change parts of yourself that you think you would stand to benefit from as well. D wants me to be happier. It took him to get me to rock bottom and help me realize how much I needed it. I want to change for myself, even more than for him. If it's that kind of a situation, then it's a win win. D hates when I wear red lipstick, but I like to just for fun. So now I only wear it when I won't see him much that day, and he will just have to bear with me. Don't sweat the little things. Don't take your partner for granted. Boy, I hope I am making sense.

        As Americans who have the idea of rugged individualism embossed on our minds, we should take a step back and realize what we really want. Is it really to preserve our flawed selves? Or we may choose to fuse them with another's, and as one hand washes the other, come out as souls more enriched than ever.

-T.