I suppose I should start with some background of myself, as it might put whatever nonsense I put here into some sort of relatable context. I am a girl currently sixteen years of age, a junior in high school (though supposed to be a sophomore,) ABC (American-Born Chinese), and I live in a snotty suburb of Chicago.
At first glance, I have everything. I have the GPA, the near-perfect SAT score, the decent looks, the cute, outgoing personality, the idiosyncratic yet impeccable sense of style, and the hot boyfriend.
Things are not always as they appear. My GPA was achieved almost entirely by straight A minuses, my SAT score was a complete fluke. I spend copious amounts of time digging up makeup tips and tutorials, and then more time applying and experimenting. I know I'm not fat, but I still spend too much energy each day selecting the outfit that will minimize my weight. My once near-perfect relationship has now become entirely one-sided and terribly tumultuous.
Perhaps the most difficult part for people to understand is my intense introversion. I am in the 98th percentile for introversion, but America is a land made for and run by extroverts. I've learned to fake extroversion. Acquaintances might say that I am a genuine, outgoing person. It is exhausting. Each day I come home, happy to be on my own time. It's not that I hate people, (though I have said so in the past to get people off of my back,) but social interactions drain me. The more I am drained, the more others misunderstand and judge me as being "antisocial" (which, by the way, is a legitimate disorder not relevant to the way that people use the word nowadays.) Most of the time though, I fake it all pretty well. I just worry that one day I will be exposed for the unacceptable person I really am.
In essence, I come here to rant my silly opinions, where no one will judge me, and if anyone will, they won't matter. This will be my outlet, if I continue to find the time and effort to post here again. It will be largely an uninteresting spout of teenage angst and useless anxiety, so be warned.