his-story.

        The first time I met D, I knew he was going to be something special in my life. I barely looked at him, and he barely looked at me. Still, I noticed his pretty eyes. I told him so. We didn't meet again until at least four months later. During that interval, I gazed at him in the hallways. He never noticed me. That was okay, I never expected him to. I didn't even know his name.

        Then D added me on Facebook. Not like we talked on it or anything. For me, it was a thrill to just stalk his pictures. Once, he got a cute blonde girlfriend. I noticed that all his girlfriends were similar: white, skinny, athletic looking, naturally fresh-faced preppy teens. He'd never notice me. I never expected him to. That was okay with me. 

        ZJ brought him to my friend's pool party. I thought there was some minor flirting, but I attributed that to him just being a gorgeous ladies' man. He talked about his girlfriend. He left the party early to go hang out with her. She was "so hot!!" A few days later, he asked me for my number via Facebook. Probably just to text and stuff.

        There was another pool party. Everyone took turns telling each other scary stories in the dark. I sat next to him, whimpering girlishly. He put his arm around me. OH. I restrained my glee. He had his So Hot girlfriend, after all. When we turned the lights on, he looked at his phone and sighed. D mentioned that he and his girlfriend just broke up three hours earlier. That was sorta quick, isn't there some kind of three day waiting period?

        We played truth or dare after that. I licked him from chin to belly button. He unhooked my bra through my shirt. We became official a few weeks later. The rest is history.

        It's so amazing to think that such a series of random, nonchalant events could lead to something so deep and maddening. I knew I would admire him, but I always thought it would just be from afar. Who would have thought that he would be the one to show me love. He would show me what a real make out session was like. He would show me that I really could lose my self-consciousness and drown in carnal pleasure. I learned so much. 

        It's perplexing to me how something so beautiful could happen by chance. I guess this is where people get to believing all this fate nonsense. Really though, it was so perfect, it couldn't have been an accident. It is so difficult to fathom that the fates could have led us together only to tear us apart again. All that I invested and changed about myself was for naught. It was so useless. It was so beautiful.
-T.