I realized that I spent almost a whole day not thinking about D. Seriously it's hard to imagine that I could have done that. March 22 is approaching, and I never thought that I would really be able to meet that goal. Now I guess I really can. I'm not pushing it back, as I thought that I might have.
        I have a date with a super mega hottie, PK, on the 22nd. Tuesday. I wonder what it will be like. Honestly he's not much of a conversationalist, but I bet he sucks good face. He has a complete player reputation, but at this point I don't know if I care. I'll just see how it goes and try not to get too involved. He would make a hot bofo though :P hahaha jk not yet.
        My mom called me a slut today. She says that she thinks I must have "needs" far more than other girls my age. Why else would I always be in such a hurry to find boys??? Wait. Hello? Does she think I go looking for these boys? Anyway, if a cute boy with nothing wrong with him asks me to hang out, what am I supposed to say, no, because I don't have needs? or some shit?? Wait WHAT. Then she cites all of my past boyfriends as proof that I just go around with anyone who comes my way. This is confirmation bias at its finest. Obviously I don't tell her about the boys who I reject, so she only ever hears about the ones who ask me and I don't reject. So ultimately she assumes that all she knows is all that is, and that I never reject anyone. Okay. When I try to object, and tell her that she is really being quite offensive, she pulls more "evidence" from out of her butt to try and prove to me how big of a slut I am. This evidence consists of "remember that one lame boyfriend? and this one guy who kept calling you but you never yelled at him to stop? and when you wanted a cell phone obviously so that you could talk to boys all day and night?" She really cannot understand how hurtful and arbitrary she is. If only she knew the whole truth, of how far I went with D, what would she think of me? Really I don't even know why I try with her anymore, because I'm going to be out of there soon anyway, and I know that she is a complete lost cause. If I try to take issue with her, she pushes it even further. Why is it that my own mother is one of the only people who doesn't know the truth, yet she can't even accept the stupid facade I make for her?
She knows nothing and yet despises everything.

No comments:

Post a Comment