no slut-shaming!

        Hmm I just found out the story of how my friend lost her virginity (not going to say who lolz.) Basically she had sex on a cruise in Europe with a rando without protection. The without protection part I actually don't really care about and whatever it happens even though it's bad and risky. It just seems odd to me that some people legitimately do not care about who they have their first time with. I'm not even talking about timing here, since I can't be one to talk about that and frankly it's another thing that I don't care about really. Having sex with a total rando, especially when losing your virginity is something that I feel like I never could consider. I knew that there are people who genuinely don't care, but I never actually knew or was kind of close to anyone like that. To me it seems so unfulfilling and odd.
        Why is sex so hyped up anyway? It causes a lot of strange emotions and really challenges a relationship but I wonder if that's just because of the social implications and significance it's been imbued with. It's just something that two people can do with their bodies, and why is that so much deeper than oral sex? I don't think that it's the risk of pregnancy anymore, with contraceptives so widely available. I don't even think it's an intimacy thing, because personally receiving oral sex feels so much more intimate to me. After my first time if I were to hook up randomly I'd be more likely to have sex than allow myself to get head. I really don't think I'm a slut-shamer, but I still feel this twinge of almost a personal violation or something when I see or hear about stories like this, especially about people I know personally. I like to think that I am a forward-thinking enlightened feminist, but I still have these stupid societal norm ideas stuck on me. I don't think my friend is a bad person, but I did feel myself losing a bit of respect for her, which is wrong. If she was comfortable with it and didn't regret it in the least, then who is to judge? Not me. But apparently I do, and I don't like that about myself. It's more than that though. It's not so much an judgment cast on her, but more like a personal internal feeling that makes strange knots in my stomach.
        But yeah, this does not make her less of a good friend to me but I was surprised by my reaction to it basically. I am going to work to change that.
-T.