1.16.2012

don't rat me out.

        Wait now that I cut again I'm scared that I'm going to get reported. I got reported to the school counselor for it in grades 6, 7, 8 and 9. Each time it made everything worse and my parents hated me even more. I just lied about everything anyway and it just stressed me out. I have a lot more reputation-wise at stake here. Imagine if I got a pass to "special services" during the class I assistant teach for? omgomgomgomg
        I know that people are just trying to help when they rat you out, especially all the friends that have done it to me, but it makes everything worse. I understand very much that professional help would benefit me, but it shouldn't take place in a school environment. It always feels like an accusatory interrogation, and leaves me on the defensive. It's counterproductive to healing. It's not like I could tell them the stuff that actually goes on, because it's borderline illegal. Their job is to tell your parents everything so that the school won't be held responsible if you off yourself and they had some pertinent information all along. I'm not going to be cutting again anytime soon so just leave it alone.
-T.

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