just a little strange

        I don't want to waste my time on any more stupid boys and just skip to the right one. Yet, this will not only be inevitable, but also it is imperative that I waste this time. It would only prepare me to properly  handle the right relationship and not just trash it like I do every time. Oops, this small rant was totally unrelated to what I had intended to blog about, especially since I have probably already blogged this exact same thing. Anyway....
         Yesterday I was at another Asian dinner party. Actually I shouldn't say "another" seeing as I haven't been to one in several months. They are mostly pretty boring since ZJ doesn't show up anymore. My other good guy friend was there, and, I'm not too sure but I think he is somewhat attracted to me. Gosh that was such a pain writing that last sentence there. I'm likely just very conceited and I fantasize about geeky boys being in love with me all the time. Regardless, he is really really good at massages like you have no idea, it's just amazing. He was giving me one of his amazing massages and I could just tell that he was aching to cop a feel or something. We are pretty close, and at one point he slapped my bum lightly. HAHA that looks so weird, everything I just wrote but really it's not that big of a deal, we are just childhood friends. It's all just a little strange, but nothing I'm really worried about.
-T.

P.S. I don't know how this is showing up for anyone else, but it looks like my font is going inconsistent and it's really bothering me and I'm trying to fix it but it doesn't work. It's probably because I'm on a different computer, and I will be for a while. My tumblr format looks screwed up too on this computer. Whatever.

byeeee :[

        I wrote my favorite seniors some lengthy letters, since tomorrow is their last day of school. I just want to let them know that they will be missed and that they really impacted my life. I am so proud of all of them and I care about them so much. This afternoon I was writing them and I just ended up bawling while listening to some quality crying songs.
        It's so strange to see that the potentiality of losing a friendship, just because of someone moving onto a new stage of life or going far away or whatever reason, really makes me realize the value of that friendship. Before, I really thought that there were only a handful of people I really appreciated fully. Yet, I must have written ten letters or so! After one person read his, he came up to me and told me it was so sweet and so nice of me and gave me a hug. I almost started to cry right then and there. They're not even leaving yet, imagine how it will be tomorrow. I must arm myself with the waterproof mascara!
       This reminds me yet again that life moves so quickly. There were so many people I needed to have more time with. There was so much unfinished business. There were also so many seniors that I meant to talk to and get to know but I never took the chance too. I guess that's what those letter were for. I couldn't leave anything unsaid. I couldn't have them leave without them knowing what they mean to me, and to make sure they keep in touch with me. Everything we've been through together has really shaped me as a person. 
         Once again, words are not enough to describe my mixed feelings of gratitude, regret, appreciation, nostalgia, joy, attachment, and so much more. So many people have touched my life, there is no way for me to show enough how I appreciate that. 
THANK YOU: LE, SC, D, KA, TT, ZJ, SJ, AJ, XK, RA, ZV, WA, & countless others!!
-T.