I can't believe it. Well I can, but I don't know.. it just seems so wrong. I can't picture myself anywhere else. I put forth the greatest effort into UChicago, I showed the most interest, and yet I couldn't get accepted. If this is the case, then what will happen with the schools that I am only mildly interested in, because I spent all of my college energy into the one school? How am I supposed to get into anywhere worthwhile if I can't get into the one I worked the hardest on? I poured forth my soul and heart into the extended essay, but I guess it isn't good enough.
I'm angry. I have no right to be angry. They deferred nearly everyone from my school and accepted only a Hispanic guy and a girl who only wants to go to Cambridge and doesn't give a shit about UChicago. I honestly expected to get in, and that was silly of me. That was so silly of me. People made lists of those applying to UChicago from my school in order of most likely to get in. I was always top one or two. Since they accept 5-7 people from my school each year regardless of how many apply, I thought it would be me. I really thought it would be me. But I'm not good enough. I got so cocky. I didn't even write the optional supplement. I am so stupid. This decision has really put me in my place because I've blown myself up in my own head, just like when YA was rejected from Stanford. It was the needle to his swelled head, and this is mine.
The University of Chicago was somewhere that my intellectuality was supposed to be appreciated. My oddities were supposed to fit. Everything wrong with me was supposed to be justified. Alas, I suppose it was just a marketing ploy. The new director of admissions sole motivation is to increase the applicant pool, so that they can have their pick of the lot while lowering the acceptance rate.
I drowned myself in chocolate. I tore up a UChicago brochure while wetting it with my tears. I took down the poster in front of my treadmill that used to motivate me. I unfollowed all of their Twitter accounts. Through all the bitterness, I was forced to face the fact that I probably would not attend the University of My Dreams. At the same time, I can finally concentrate on my remaining applications, which are due in about ten days (OMG.) I don't have to feel like I'm cheating on UChicago (they put me on the back burner first!), and I don't have any excuse to half-ass the essays. This one school isn't so important to me anymore. A good university is a good university, and some just have more enticing advertisements. Wherever I end up, I will make good friends and be an outstanding student. Some of my peers haven't even gotten any acceptance letters at all, and I have two from great schools under my belt. UChicago may have some of the smartest students according to College Prowler, but they are also the ugliest. Why would I want to be categorized with them? If they want to stay ugly, then so be it. I have another shot in the regular round, and we'll see how it goes. I'll end up somewhere good, and it doesn't have to be UChicago.